The Ebb and Flow

2011-10-16T08:30:00.000-04:00

What do Pastor’s Want?

Real Job Satisfaction

October 16, 2011

By Walton C. Forstall, II

Aldersgate UMC, Norfolk, Virginia

Somewhere in the late 1970’s I walked in to my pastor’s office deeply troubled. I had been sensing God’s presence in a new, not very clear way. I thought I might be led to be a priest in the Episcopal Church. Father John’s reaction when I shared this thought was to start tell me about all the possibilities open to me and what seminaries I might attend. I was somewhat overwhelmed. No, I was way beyond overwhelmed. Needless to say I didn’t raise the question again to myself, or anyone else.

What I suspect 30-odd years later that there was a conversation being held outside of my hearing. The topic of that conversation was speculation on the very idea that I was called to be a priest and when I would figure it out. This conversation would have been held between the important adults in my life, who were all friends socially, including Father John. The mere mention of the idea from me was enough to trigger an over-the-top response from John.

I continued to ponder the idea for several years. I shared it with Mary Ruth who thought it would never happen. (Which in a way makes me question whether it should have happen.) And as I struggled another friend heard what I said and rather than respond in an over-the-top way just asked me about the idea and what I thought. No pushing, no agenda, just a kind attentive ear responding with an invitation to say more if need be. I didn’t say much more and the idea faded back into the background.

When Mary Ruth and I joined the Methodist Church John, my former pastor and Lewis Morgan, the pastor at Trinity United Methodist Church in Alexandria had a conversation. If I had hoped this “call” to the ordained ministry would vanish when I changed churches and denominations I was to be disappointed. Their conversation included this statement, “I think Tony is called to the ordained ministry” which got recorded in the notes to be retrieved when necessary.

That was going on all around me. Inside my head and heart there was a different discussion. My understanding of the church then and now was extremely democratic. This means that I believe that the real power and authority of the and in the Church is vested and given to the laity. Let me repeat this in several ways. Jesus by his command calls all persons to be a holy priesthood and empowers, enables, and authorizes by the gift of the holy spirit to be his direct representative of God’s love, power, and intent to hurting persons and hurting world. This can be illustrated by a simple diagram:

Not too long ago I was in a meeting in which the bishop, a superintendent and several clergy and laity were present. As I listened to the conversation surrounding our work it was clear that all of us held the traditional view of power and hierarchy in the church. Lay persons were on the bottom, lay leaders atop and superintendents and bishops above them. We will leave the question of God and General Conference for another time.

Whether the laity have given over their divine gift and authority I can’t say. I suspect most lay persons have not understood what gifts and authority God has granted them. Or if they are so persuaded, they have given up living in to these gifts because of lack of support and encouragement.

So as I dealt with this call from God I struggled. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to go to school and learn, learn, learn. I did, more than anything in the world. But I felt that a lay person who understood the power and privilege God had endowed lay folks with could have a greater impact on the world on God’s behalf rather than filling the pulpit and being a pastor of a church. When I had recommitted myself to God at the age of 24 or so, I said to God I would do anything God wanted me to do. I thought that meant I was to be a layperson serving in the world. And really by then I had seen enough church life to know one, that some pastor’s weren’t very competent and worse, many lay people weren’t nice to their pastors. You would have to be a fool to say yes to that.

Well, apparently I am a fool. God’s gracious gift to me was that I got to go to school to study what I really wanted to study as I prepared to fulfill what God had in mind for me. And what did God have in mind for me? Well, I wanted to remain a lay person who understands the great privilege and power that God has given the laity. God allowed that I understood this, but that what God really needed was clergy who understood the same thing. In the few times that I have been clear about why I do what I do, this is the answer, “I believe lay-persons have the high honor and task of filling the world with God’s love. I am called to invite, prepare and enable lay persons to be a high and holy priesthood.”

If I had to assess How I was doing in that effort, I wouldn’t be very favorable. That’s just me. I can tell you that in the 24 years I have been doing this I have had very little real job satisfaction. Some of that is in my control some not. However, if I was paid more than enough, had a doctoral degree, or served the biggest church in the district or conference, or was nominated for bishop or on the short list to be a ds I still wouldn’t be satisfied. I would be comfortable and my self-esteem (or more like my ego would) be inflated, but I wouldn’t have job satisfaction. And if every lay person I ever knew filled a church leadership position, or filled the pulpit, or filled out a pledge card or filled an envelope, or filled the choir I would be happier and grateful (and please don’t stop doing those things), but I wouldn’t be satisfied. What will give this pastor real job satisfaction is if you who are my current charge would be eager to fill the world with God’s love and invest yourself in doing so. There is more to this than what I have shared, but perhaps it is enough to share this first.

2011-10-16T08:17:00.000-04:00

These are the random thoughts and questions for the week of October 9th.

If we believe in a God who can control chaos (or randomness) is it not possible that some degree of randomness is left (or intrinsic?) in creation? And if so is it not possible that part of our bearing the image of God is to be able to discern and endure randomness. And is it not logical that God, to be the God we claim God is, must be able to over-power and control randomness, not in a “once and for all” way but in “this is my character way”?

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To posit the democratic ideal of “we the people” and the notion that the powers of the governance be it local, state, or federal are authorized by and under authority to, the people then does this not call upon us to reflect on what it means to be “we the people” and how we are to be together with the rights, privileges, and responsibilities granted (so we say by God)?

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One of my young friends tells the story on Facebook of how an opposing football coach whose team was in the process of routing his my friend’s team taunted him. The indignation I felt took awhile to recede. All the many occasions I had witnessed adults in the roll of coach or fan exhibiting poor sportsmanship came to mind. These memories are all accompanied by disgust, embarrassment and indignation. I am not too worried about my friend whose resilience and maturity are sufficient to chose the high road and endure this episode. What I find very sad is that there are adults in our nation whose highest aspiration is to be a part of the best football team on any given Friday night (much less in the District, Region, or State). So much so that they must talk trash to a stranger, a child, and a fellow citizen. What about excellence in education? Or excellence in civic obligation? Or excellence in disease prevention? Or conflict resolution? Or making peace? Why can’t we aspire to be excellent at something where every one wins?

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The tone of conversation on television and the Internet as well as its near instantaneous availability of knowledge and reaction and opinion has the unpleasant effect of keeping most of us at a elevated state of agitation, fear, and indignation. Can we sustain any kind of equilibrium in such a condition? Is it possible to envision a world where conflict, debate, and opposition is subsidiary to peace, agreement, and unity? Only if we step back from the overload of our media and communication systems will we hear other, saner voices.

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Friday night’s PBS presentation of the H.M.S. Pinafore was interesting. I find that I am a purist when it comes to Gilbert and Sullivan. I want what was written and staged in 1878 to be what is shown in 2011. This show was not that. The re-orchestration is the most troubling part. It turned the operetta in to a musical suited for 21st century lacking the proper satiric element. It did allow for some wonderful dancing which almost (but not quite) makes up for the transgression.

The 19th century satire on the social classes of Britain and crossing those lines and leveling the field, so to speak, has a modern ring. For all our “all men (and women) are created equal...” we are clearly living in a time in which the social stratification present in Victorian England is being replicated in though maybe along different lines and issues. Status is less about titles and estates and the “drawing room” and more about fame, wealth and power in rawer forms. The coating of civility present in Victorian England has long passed out of our modern minds. Minding one’s manners is not fashionable.

2011-10-06T11:38:00.003-04:00

Dealing with Difficulties

By Walton C.Forstall

October 2, 2011

“Help,I have fallen and I can’t get up!” is a trademark of Life Alert Incorporated.[1] Itis often used as a joke. Never the less the phrase reminds us that life is fullof interruptions, emergencies and crisis. This is no less true for the personwho believes, follows, and trusts God as it is for the non-believer. No matter who you are your life will bedisrupted by unforeseen events. The question is not will they happen. Thequestion is how will you respond to these events? A following question mightbe, “Who will help you through these difficult challenges?”

Ourinitial response to difficulties is going to be grounded in our understandingof who God is and how the universe works. One approach is mechanistic. By that I mean everything has a direct causalrelationship with something I have chosen to do before. So if you face anunexpected difficulty it is because you made a poor choice prior somehow,somewhere along the line. This is appealing only in so far as it helps a persondelude themselves about the extent of their power to control and direct theirlives.

Asecond approach may be to believe that everything happens for a reason we candiscern and that God has at least allowed it to happen to us (and not someoneelse). Therefore this difficulty must bepunishment or a challenge to meet so God will finally love me and accept me.This is really the extension of number one, only instead of your actionscausing the difficulty; it is God doing the damage.

Usingeither of these approaches places you in a hopeless and unresolvablesituation. You cannot go back and undowhat you did to cause the difficulty. Nor can you bear the increasing burden ofhaving “chosen” yourself in to an impossible situation. Paralysis will make it impossible to moveforward. Trying to appease a capriciousGod with right sacrifices is also a no-win situation. Trying to figure out whatGod wants of you in order for God to accept you and make your life bearablewill simply provide you with enough evidence that God does not accept you andyour attempts of please God are futile.

Anotherapproach we could take is a more positive, but in the end just as flawed as thefirst two options. Thus approach says.“I can fix this myself. I don’t needanyone’s help. Just let me go it alone and I will be victorious.” Where theprevious options render us paralyzed, this option forces us to a flurry onconstant, unending, and exhausting unquestioned activity. It seems like we are taking action, but itleaves us in the same place if we would bother to stop and look around.

Eachof these approaches to difficulty and challenges fail because they depend on afalse idea of God and God’s intentions and love. God the Father is revealed tous by Jesus Christ, the Son of God through the power of the Holy Spirit. Jesusreveals to us a God who is present in love and power. Our challenges and difficultiesare not driven by God’s manipulation of minute factors in our life or a desireto punish, toy, and torment people.

Eachof these approaches also reveals that we misunderstand the purpose and goal ofour lives. Human beings, based on thethings we say, believe, and do believe that the purpose and goal of our livesis to get by in the easiest, least problematic and troubled way we can. “Thegood life” is portrayed as one of endless bliss, peace and health. To be freeof demand and free to do as we please is thought to be the epitome of goodliving.

Whatthe Word of God in Creation, in Christ, and in Scripture reveals to us is thatlife is not about our ease, but about our faithfulness. The goal and purpose ofyour life, my life, anyone’s life is to be faithful to The Father, Son and HolySpirit. It is by this reality we are to live and it is by this reality we willbe judged.

Paul’sadvice to the faithful at Corinth assumes this reality and guides them on how toface the inevitable challenges of life. The story of Jesus stilling the stormreminds us both of God’s presence in and around us and God’s power over allcreation. What we do in light of these revelations is to see that our lives areordered for faithfulness, not ease. There are three necessities we must adoptif we are to live faithful lives.

Thefirst necessity is the discipline of daily engagement with God through aregular habit of prayer, reading, study, and service. There is no doubt that you can pray anywhereand anytime. But your ability to meet the challenges of faithful living isgreatly enhanced by a daily disciplined life. Why?

Wellthink of it this way. If you are a parent seeking to teach a child something ofimportance about life do you allow the child to go on playing, dawdling, orwhatever as you speak? And when they come to you with a question do continuewhat you are doing half listening to what they are saying or do you stop andreally listen. Undivided attention to a personal relationship with a parent,spouse friend, or child, or sibling enhances the relationship so that whendifficult times occur the basic foundation of love and awareness of eachother’s tempers, ability, and beliefs allow for strong effective response tothe challenge. I cannot emphasize too strongly, that this is how it works witha personal God. On whom do you call when you say, Lord help me! Is it a constant familiar friend or asometime acquaintance, or worse, a stranger?

Thesecond necessity is like unto the first. As you love God, you are also to loveyour neighbor. The primary arena forsuch interactions are our families or neighborhoods and workplaces, and ourfaith community, especially the faith community. Why? Because you each lay thesame foundation through daily discipline, believe in the same Father, Son, andHoly Spirit who is present in power, and you live by that loving reality. Aplatoon of Marines train in a way that prepares them individually, but alsodevelops the platoon as a cohesive unit where everyone can be counted on to dotheir task no matter what and where everyone WANTS to do exactly that. It isthis kind of development and discipline the church should desire and work forin it members and its life together. So our daily regimen also leads to and issupported by a community discipline of worship, prayer, learning, serving, andwitness that helps individuals meet their personal challenges, but also thechallenges of fruitful and effective witness to a broken, hurting world.

Finally,it is necessary that we display a radical dependence on our Lord. The disciples were not lousy sailors. They grew up on the Sea of Galilee. They knew their boat, they knew their skills,and they knew their environment. They would not have been frightened had theyfaced something they knew how to handle. They woke Jesus up because they were beyond their resources andabilities to handle the situation. Indeed to practice the first two necessitiesdemands a radical faith in the Lord.

Sochallenges, crisis, and disruption come and these come to all no matter what.It is how, but more importantly with whom you face these challenges that makesthe difference. Without the Lord, paralysis, desperation, and arrogance are ouroptions. With God, our community offaith actively praising God and serving him, and our own daily discipline thechallenges truly become the opportunity to grow, to be trued, and found true.They are in fact the building blocks of a faithful life which after all is whatGod requires of us.

[1] http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/I've_fallen_and_I_can't_get_up!

Sad Commentary

2011-10-06T08:13:00.000-04:00

Recently a retired United Methodist Bishop told the following story aspart of his article questioning the usefulness of our current planned use of “metrics”as a method of evaluating clergy effectiveness and fruitfulness:

I recently served as interim pastor of acongregation. As I was leaving the office one day to make hospital calls, I meta lady on the parking lot of the church whom I did not know. After a rathercasual greeting, she pointed to the church building and said, “Is there someonein there who can teach me how to pray?”

I was stumped by her question. She was pointing toa full service mega church that offers day care, a weekday school, athleticleagues, mission trips, social services, worship, choirs, a vibrant youthministry and Sunday school for all ages. At a deeper level, she was inquiringabout learning how to practice the spiritual disciplines. I had no answer toher question. I gave her my card and requested that she give me a call so thatwe could have conversation. She never called and I never saw her again. [1]

I share this because I think it is indicative of the problem. If a United Methodist Bishop cannot answerthe woman’s question any better than to give a card and say, “Call me” we mightas well cash in our chips now. Theappropriate answer was to find a place to sit down, ask the lady a few questionsand teach her something about how to talk to God. Any United Methodist pastor who cannot dothis and take the time to do it ought to rethink their call. Was there someonein that building who could teach her to pray? No maybe not. However the one whocould just walked out the door and stood there talking to her. How many storiesin the gospels show Jesus being interrupted on his way to somewhere else and being asked a question, turns it in to a moment to reveal the love ofGod. Isn't this warrant enough to do exactly that? “Lord teach us to pray,”petitioned the disciples. Does nothing come to mind?

Sadly, I suspect most United Methodist’s would not agree with me. Theabove situation is probably so common that it will go unnoticed andunchallenged. We are professionals with busy schedules and things to do. Thebishop is right in the main point of his article. Sadly, his story tells a different tale.

[1] http://www.umportal.org/article.asp?id=8245

For Advent-Society of Saint Andrew Devotional Booklet

2011-07-10T06:39:00.003-04:00

Please read: John 14:27, Luke 2:13-14, and Matthew 5:9

In Jesus’ trial we are given clues to how the world makes peace. The Romans export their culture by force and make peace by colonization and military presence. Pilate, knowing Jesus to be innocent, chooses to keep the peace by giving in to the religious leaders. The religious leaders keep the peace by appeasing the Roman’s and manipulating the masses. The masses prefer the entertainment of a cruel and painful execution of an innocent man rather than risk their own comforts, such as they were, by defying the religious leaders and supporting Jesus.

Not surprisingly that is how we make and keep peace; Exporting our culture, using force, appeasement and protecting our comforts with distracting, foolish and cruel entertainments.
As we prepare to celebrate the birth of Christ we should remember how Jesus brought the peace of God. With a humble birth, authentic relationships with people, teaching and revealing God’s power and ultimately refusing to use force. It is ironic that the trial of Christ was a lesson in the ways human’s make peace. Jesus life, death and resurrection are a lesson on how God makes peace. When we sing and say, “Peace on earth and goodwill to all people.” God’s peace-making is being praised and proclaimed. Can we make peace any other way?

May the God of hope fill us with all joy and peace in believing through the power of the Holy Spirit. Amen.

Romans 15:13
The peace of God, which passeth all understanding, keep your hearts and minds in the knowledge and love of God, and of his Son Jesus Christ our Lord; and the blessing of God Almighty, the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost, be amongst you, and remain with you always. Amen.

Some Difficult Questions on Memorial Day

2011-05-30T09:48:00.002-04:00

Yesterday, our worship centered on the Service of Christian Marriage. It was a look at the promises that are made in the service and who the promises are made too. Memorial Day was in the anthem and the prayers. What follows are some thoughts that seem to revolve around Memorial Day, and specifically what it means when a nation that is governed “by the people, for the people” asks that someone die for them.

WARNING-Knowing me and that I am a curmudgeon do not read this article if you think it might upset you, make you mad, or just plain drive you crazy. I am an equally opportunity scoffer. If you think I am leaving someone out or being unfair to some group of people just remember, I pretty much blame every one and I will get around to the others eventually.

I do not believe that the following sentiments will convince some who read them that I am at worse a traitor, but I offer them anyway.

Very simply, I love my country and I love the ideas and ideals that are stated in what have been called “The American Scriptures”. At no time in the history of humans has a people stated and attempted to live by and be governed by such a profound and amazing proposition as “all are created equal” and “the people govern themselves”. And in light of that love I admire deeply those who have and still commit themselves to our nation’s services as soldiers, marines, sailors, aeronauts and costal guards. And I am grateful for their service and I am deeply grateful for those who have died in that service to our nation. As one of the “people” I can do no less nor do I want to do less. I hope and pray that if it ever falls to me to die for my nation that I would do with the same courage and willingness that so many have done before me.

But there is within me another love that runs deeper and steadier. It is the love of God for me and my love for God. I am also a citizen of God’s Kingdom. At my death, I will no longer be a United States citizen, but I will be a citizen of God’s Kingdom. I would still be a citizen of God’s Kingdom if tomorrow the United States ceased to exist.

Because I love God and because I believe that as a citizen of the United States, a nation I love, I am responsible, in part, for how the resources of our nation are being gathered, deployed and spent. These include economic, physical, moral, and most especially, human beings, citizens of the United States of America. And because I love Jesus and promised to follow Him I ask these questions and make these observations.

1. As a nation are we using our valuable resources wisely? To what end are the physical, economic, moral and human resources we have being applied? Security? Freedom? Economic independence? The American Way? Democracy? Peace?

2. If it is security how has the loss of the lives of our young men and women made us secure? By the elimination of an evil person, Osama Bin Laden? Maybe so, but, in light of that what does it mean when Disney tries to trademark “Seal Team Six” for economic purposes? How many “devils incarnate” do we have to kill for us to be secure? Is the security we have worth the lives we have spent to achieve it? What kind of security do we have? Are we safe? From what? For how long?

3. If its freedom how so? To what extent were my freedom of speech, worship, to a fair trial, to bear arms, and so one threatened by Osama Bin Laden? Saddam Hussein? Idi Amin? Quadaffi? Fidel Castor? Am I truly free if I face a tax burden so heavy and so unfairly applied that I am forced to a life of impoverishment? Am I truly free if the decision makers of my nation are free to ignore my concerns, and my plight as a citizen, and make decisions based on the aims and goals of Robber Barons, Aristocrats, and War Mongers? How are Iraqis, Kuwaitis, The Afghans, or the Pakistanis free? How does democracy look to them? If we must always be at war can we truly say we are free? If violence is the answer aren’t we always bound to be violent? If putting a bullet through another person’s body makes it right does that mean it is the preferred way of “making things right”?

4. Have the dead we honor this day made us economically free? Very, very few citizens of the United States are economically free. Our Federal debt alone precludes that. Along with the trade deficit and our dependence on fossil fuel we are pretty well enslaved to the status quo (That means whatever condition you are in right now, IT IS NOT GOING TO GET BETTER…AND PROPBABLY WILL GET WORSE!) To what ends have we incurred that debt? Not all, but a large percentage has been used to imperil the lives of our young people, to build a system and establishment of Military power (and the means at the minimum the threat of force-and let’s be honest…force means violence in vary degrees. And violence never seems to be happy to merely maim and wound, but almost always loves death and that is an appetite that is never satisfied.

5. The American way? What is the American Way? I mean really, do we know what we are talking about when we use that phrase? Is it our system of government? How is that working FOR YOU right now? Is it the ideals we profess? If so shouldn’t we ask how we have applied them to ourselves before we fight others over it? Or is the American Way the way we do things as Americans? I mean what we actually do! What do we do? Eat to the point of obesity? Watch TV? Don’t vote because it doesn’t matter? Complain about others? Expect someone else to fix our problems? Expect the government to…what...take care of the poor… keep taxes low on the wealthy and high on the lower and middle class… fix every disaster… cure every disease… provide entertainment and recreation… fix every road…leave us alone… hand out your tax dollars to business who have plenty of money… underwrite every risk… make every investment secure…write a law to cover every possible outcome. Is the American way something we wish was true for ourselves or is it what Americans do and have done to themselves and others for whatever reason.

6. Democracy? This might be worth fighting and dying for if it is your own right to govern yourself as nation? The problem is…many folks do not want to be live in a democracy. While we like it we must admit it is almost easier to win the right than to keep the right to be a democracy? But if our policy is to spread democracy where ever we can are we willing to spill and spend our nations resources setting people free to have a democracy who either do not want to be free and democratic or want to be free and democratic in ways that threaten us?

7. Peace? Hmmmmmm. “Blessed are the peacemakers…” Matthew 5:9 Samuel Colt’s revolver was called “The Peacemaker”. Many military missions have been euphemistically called “peace making missions”. I wonder what Jesus thinks when we use this verse to refer to implements of violence and death as “peace makers”. Just for once can we be honest with and about ourselves and admit that we don’t know **** about making peace. There is no greater hypocrisy than to take the word of God to mean exactly the opposite of the clear (LITERAL-and in this case unerring and infallible) meaning of the text. Why don’t we at least spend as much money on learning how to make peace as we do making war? Can’t we at least think about what a real peace might be?

a. An observation…for citizens who want the federal government to both shrink and withdraw itself from messing around our lives in obtrusive ways learning how to make peace is the greatest and most effective tool in the tool box. Think about it? Governments can do almost anything they want if they can convince you that you won’t be safe unless they do something about a threat…i.e. lock it up…destroy it…fight it…or make a law against it.

b. Biblical peacemaking is about listening AND understanding, forgiveness, selfless sacrifice. At the very core is making your enemies your friends. You ask what about those who refuse to be our friend? Funny you should ask? In that case WWJD? Either way you choose, to make war or to make peace, someone will die.

Which kind of gets back to the meaning of this Memorial Day? It is a day to express gratitude for those who died for us so that we might live. However at least for those who have died recently, I am inclined to believe they died because we were (and are) too lazy, too selfish, and too afraid, and most of all, too cowardly to do and be who we must be as citizens of this nation and this world. Does one day of gratitude and remembrance outweigh years of wasting the resources of our nation, most especially the human beings, on military excursions that benefit a few at the cost and burden of the many and have neither won us peace, security or freedom?

Maybe I am just grumpy because I woke up early, but I don’t really think so. I just can get over the feeling that the comfort and security most of us have enjoyed for so long has overwhelmed and pacified us into believing anybody and anything as long as what they tell us, what they do in our name, and what they do out sight, does not require us to change or experience any discomfort and inconvenience.

“What it means to be a Church Named Aldersgate?”

2011-05-21T08:08:00.007-04:00

Tony Forstall, Pastor,
Aldersgate UMC, Norfolk, VA
May 22, 2011

A quick review of the names of churches in the Virginia Annual Conference show us that most are named for their geographical location. However, 45 of our churches are “Memorial” churches, often named for a person who was important in that community or gave the money for the church. There are 12 churches that are named “First” likely signifying they were the first Methodist Church in that community and not their status as “Number One”. There are 41 Churches named either “Trinity” or “Christ”. There are 44 churches bearing the name of a Wesley, Francis Asbury or Thomas Coke. 22 are named for a Saint. And six are named Aldersgate, a street in London and a religious experience of John Wesley.

It seems to me that the name of a church might tell us a little bit about the congregation that formed the church. In our case we might ask, “What does our name mean? What clues does it give visitors and strangers about us, if any? Does our Church name shape and drive our mission? Or is it just a name?” These questions are particularly appropriate this week. Two Hundred and Seventy Three years ago, on May 24th, 1738 John Wesley experienced God in a vital and significant way.

There are several options we can take to answer the question, “What is the significance of John Wesley’s Aldersgate experience for us today. The company line has generally said that the importance of the experience, especially for our own mission and ministry is to affirm, even glorify the personal experience and conversion of Wesley and any other Christian, for that matter. The effect of stressing this interpretation leads to some troubling questions. Should we demand of ourselves and anyone else who seeks to join us in our faith, that they have a similar experience of a “heart strangely warmed”? This has been done usually with negative effect. Others, swinging the other way, diminish the importance of Wesley’s experience to a point of no importance at all. A more appropriate tack might be to see this experience of Wesley as an event in a remarkable lifetime of events that was in truth a spiritual pilgrimage, and not just a moment in time. From this vantage point we discover timely and relevant aspects of this “Aldersgate” experience that honor Wesley and motivate us 273 years later.

Wesley could, like many of us, say he started going to church when he was conceived. His family was Christ-centered and deeply committed. By the standards of both his day and our day he was born a Christian. He had no choice. He was educated by a woman who was a scholar and deeply faithful and intelligent Christian. He was educated for the priesthood, ordained as a priest, and served as such. Imagine then the surprise of many people who talking to Wesley after May 24th, when he told them he had just become a Christian! To the mind of most if anyone was the epitome of Christian conscientiousness and behavior it was John Wesley. What is this nonsense about just becoming a Christian. Mrs Hutton, in whose family home John resided, was so distraught about John’s claims and the affect they were having on her son, she wrote Samuel, John’s brother to say change him or he goes. (As an insight to Wesley's personality and to answer the question, he went.) Never the less when we take a broader perspective we are overwhelmed by God who has steadfastly accompanied John throughout is whole life. John’s testimony really does not mean anything more than he felt the experience to be important. He desired it many times prior to and he reflected upon it many times afterward. But this moment, seen in light of Wesley’s whole life, points to God very much different than what we normally imagine. To this God, John is his beloved. To this God, any person is His beloved. God invests time in those He loves.

It is no surprise that as many people who though Wesley was crazy for claiming he had just become a Christian, there were others, in particularly the Moravians who felt his continued doubts and fears indicated he was nothing of the sort. Indeed what had been a warm and pleasant relationship with his Moravian friends became a complete and unpleasant split. Seen from afar however, John’s experience is a milestone reached in his life when what he intellectually knew had succumbed to spiritual gravity and landed in this heart. From this point of view we see a God who blesses..., and Blesses..., and BLESSES! We know John has grown before and we certainly know he changed after. It is evidence of the God, who by the power of the Holy Spirit, engages us, blesses us and leads us. We would know none of this if we were unaware of Wesley’s life as a whole.

Finally to notice this movement of the Holy Spirit in Wesley’s life leads us to realize that his assertion that he felt assurance of God’s love and salvation is not confined to 9pm on May 24th. In fact it is a regular occurrence in John’s religious experience for the rest of his life. Did he experience fear and doubt? Yes he did. But as he commented that week, where before he had often succumbed to his demons, afterwards he always came out the conqueror.

Such a review of Wesley’s life clues us in to some possibilities for us in 2011. We can ask, “Are we a people who are on a spiritual pilgrimage with God?” Or are we looking for experiences of God that could be called “one and done”. I believe most people desire a long-term fulfilling relationship with God. We should ask ourselves if we have that relationship and if are we offering that experience to others? If God sees in each person the beloved and maintains with eternal faithfulness an attitude and activity of blessing toward that person do we believe others might desire such a life? And who does not, when they begin to scale the heights of spiritual experience, get nervous and afraid?. But together, with support from each other and empowerment from God’s Holy Spirit don’t you think people will become conquerors?

To bear the name Aldersgate conveys not only an appreciation of the power of a single experience in the life of this earthen vessel named John Wesley. It also reveals a God whose grace is so prevalent, overwhelming and active that we know we are beloved and blessed, that we are allowed to be ourselves as God sees us, and that we are on a journey with a faithful guide who will bring us in the end to that place he has prepared for us. And so our church name, ALDERSGATE reminds and guides us to our mission as a congregation. Our mission is to invite persons on a spiritual journey to get to know God in a relationship and an eternal lifetime of love and not just a fleeting glimpse of what might or might not be.

2011-05-18T08:42:00.003-04:00

Of late I have noticed that I am feeling very proud. I am proud of my congregation, especially the Music Ministry of Aldersgate as they presented a well-rehearsed, well-performed Cantata on Easter Sunday. I feel proud of my children, especially my son, as he successfully achieves his Eagle Rank, graduates from High School, and matriculates to Randolph Macon College. I am proud of my mom who chose to leave a house she loved, break down housekeeping there and move to an apartment in a place where she has friends and can be cared for well for the rest of her life. But then I began to have doubts about these feelings of pride. Isn’t pride the chief of the seven deadly sins? (The answer is yes). Am I offending God as enjoy these feelings?

As I pondered these questions and examined my feelings I realized there are limits that might be placed on my pride. The pride I felt for all of the occasions above were rooted in a sense of God working in and through people I love and care about, allowing them to achieve success through hard work, doubts, fear, and commitment. My feelings of pride were marked by wonder, gratitude and humility. All these occasions had nothing to do with me. I just get to witness and enjoy the fruits of other people’s hard work.

I say all this in order to note that there is a dimension of pride that is not appropriate, and yet all too common. It is the kind of pride that claims for oneself, or a group, honor, privilege, and status that makes them feel superior to others. It is a pride that excludes others who don’t match up to our high standard, for whatever reason. It is the kind of pride that claims as our right and just desserts what God gives without reference, obedience and honor of God. It is a pride that says we are responsible for what God does, provides, and give. It is the ultimate, “We are #1!” It is the doctrine of “divine right” writ large that says God has chosen me and not you and therefore you must obey me, be conquered by me, and be my underling, my vassal, my servant. (We have probably all experienced these feelings, though hopefully not acted on them) It is the kind of pride that allows for name-calling, derision, disdain, and division.

God calls us to a life lived in humble obedience and love for and to Him. When we are pleased and delighted by the accomplishments of our own or others and we are led to thank God, the pride we feel is within its proper bounds. However, if we are making unjustifiable claims about our own or others status, we are choosing a path toward idolatry and the claim that we are god. Take a moment each day to see where you are in this equation. Notice where claims of superiority and division are set forth by our national leaders, press and pundits that cause division and feeling of superiority on some and inferiority in others. And ultimately realize we could not wake up each day unless God wills it and we cannot take a breath without God giving it, and that we have nothing and are nothing without God. In short you are because God is; you aren’t chosen; you are blessed.

Pastor Tony

Prayers written for civic occassions

2011-05-09T09:27:00.000-04:00

To be used on May 9th, 2011, the monthly meeting of the River Forest/Wayside Manor/Eaton Place Civic League Shores, as they honor those in our community who have or are serving in the Military service of the United States of America.

O God, who has blessed all of us with the very air we breathe and the very lives we lead, we gather tonight to honor and remember those who have sacrificially served to unsure our freedom and safety. We ask that as we conduct our ceremonies this evening that we would be kept from the arrogance that excludes those who are different from us, we do not like, or we do not understand. Rather O God grant us success in the high calling of maintaining, advocating and working for a nation that is truly your servant and truly a place of liberty and justice for all. We thank you for the men and women who have served in the ranks of the United States military. We also thank you for their spouses, parents and children who have also sacrificed their loved ones to service and supported them in their noble work.

May we ever place ourselves under your authority and seek to serve you as we serve the cause of liberty and justice for all persons. This we ask from the deepest part of our being of the only One who can grant it. Amen.

To be offered at the regularly scheduled meeting of the Norfolk City Council held May 10, 2011.

O God, who has blessed all of us with the very air we breathe and the very lives we lead, we gather tonight to conduct the sacred task of self-governance. We thank you for our city, for its diverse and creative population, for those who live and work here and for those who serve as our elected representatives. May we be a place that when others visit they find you here and know that you are honored as our Sovereign. We ask that as we conduct our business this evening that we would be kept from the arrogance that excludes those who are different from us, or we do not like, or we do not understand. Rather O God, grant us civil tongues, open minds and ears, and a passion to understand those who voice opinions different from ours. Grant to those who deliberate and to those who inform and to those who come to speak, wisdom and justice rooted in your mercy and law. Grant that as we easily pledge ourselves to a nation with liberty and justice for all that our thoughts and actions may truly match our high minded words.
May we ever place ourselves under your authority and seek to serve you as we serve the cause of liberty and justice for all persons. This we ask from the deepest part of our being of the only One who can grant it. Amen.

Revisiting this place

2011-05-05T08:10:00.000-04:00

I realize I am not a very attentive blogger. My hope is to post something at least weekly. Maybe some of you can taunt me until I really do it.

2010-10-28T08:44:00.000-04:00

For much of my life I sought to leave the margins and enter the mainstream. Strangely, by the way the stream is flowing and the way I swim I find that I am back on the margins. Is there no political social, or faith-based home for those of us who are despised by the current actors on the public stage? Yes there is...but it isn't an easy place to live and one may expect to be despised for being there. But then that seems to be where my Lord always was and is to be found. Where are you these days?

When Will They Ever Learn

2010-08-24T10:35:00.000-04:00

When will they ever learn? When will I ever learn?

Luke 19:41-42 ( NRSV )
As he came near and saw the city, he wept over it, saying, “If you, even you, had only recognized on this day the things that make for peace! But now they are hidden from your eyes.

This passage has been on my mind for a few days. It isn’t a very comforting passage. I need only look to my own life to see that I am not very peaceful and that I do not cause as much peace as I should or could. I am certainly not very intentional about peace, peacemaking, or its promotion. If I even remotely appear to be a peaceful person it is because the world around us is more violent and thoughtless than I am.

As a people who are at least nominally “under God” we ought to try study peace more than we study war. But for the vast majority of modernity we have studied war, we have refined war, we have become economically vested in war, we build our esteem (both self and national) on our ability to wage war successfully. We have a plethora of undergraduate and post-graduate schools and programs that study, teach and promote effective warring. Coupled with the standard business education which benefits from and supports the goals and plans of the military (militant living?) through leadership, logistics, and organizational process and the engineering fields that apply to all aspects of military and civic life the great majority of our formal education and cultural ethos is prompted by and in service to War.

By pillaging the environment shamelessly and recklessly, by the organization, training, and deployment of human beings as human resources (and their loss as “collateral damage” or “ordinary attrition”), and an economy that is dependent of gluttony (someone’s) and our thirst for security, comfort and possession for possessions sake we proclaim with our actions and our blindness our affection for and dependence on violence in dealing with people and nations.

It does little good to recognize that Jesus said these words 2000 years ago if we do not also realize Jesus says them now. But do we weep? Do we recognize the things that make for peace? Or is it that late hour? All of my life has been lived either under the threat of war, the preparation for war or the actual fighting of a war. The 55 years prior to my birth were also spent in the same way or recovering from the effects of war. There is lots of rubbish that hangs with us from the past, but one song comes to mind and I think it needs to be revived. “I Ain’t Gonna Study War No More.”

Then maybe I will have eyes unfettered to study peace and the things that make for peace.

Priorities are a Sham

2010-07-31T10:50:00.000-04:00

Get your priorities straight! Decide what you really want! If you don’t know your priorities you can’t determine how to spend your time, your money, and your thoughts and effort! I suppose this is good advice, but I am having serious doubts.
I am a Christian. I am a follower of Jesus. So what you say? Well if I belong to Jesus, as in I have died to sin and the old life and I have been clothed with a new life, Christ’s life I have only one concern…to live Jesus. Jesus is not the first among equals, put him first and everything falls in to place. To put Jesus first it to let everything else go so that there is only Jesus.
We have so much going on in our lives. All of us have this and that to do. But whatever we have that is worth having is ours because God has allowed us to keep it, or in a positive statement, “God has given it to us.”
In the long run Jesus is never a priority. Jesus is a life. Yours if you receive Him and mine because I have received Him. Everything about my life comes under the scrutiny of Jesus. Jesus may point out things that must be jettisoned, Jesus may point out things to be mothballed and stored, or Jesus may lead us to use dimensions of our life in active living of Him in the world today.
Are we asking ourselves the right questions and seeing ourselves in the right relation to God? If we are claiming to put God first and expect God to rearrange our lives to be more productive, more effective, wealthier, more charming or attractive, more intelligent, or whatever, I think we deserve to be disappointed. God is not the first among equals. If, on the other hand we seek to live Jesus and allow God to gift us with that which feeds and nourishes our life in Christ we will find ourselves as effective, well off, etc. as we need to be.
We have spent much time in the recent past trying to make discipleship palatable to American tastes and dispositions. It hasn’t worked. It has failed as a way of life in this world just based on results measured by human standards, much less God’s standards. It is time to stop nibbling at the buffet of religious options, watered-downed faith and unpalatable world views. It is time to feast at the banquet of the Kingdom of Jesus. Otherwise we will find we have dwindled away in to nothing, starved, emaciated, and empty.

A Pivotal Point

2010-04-05T06:42:00.000-04:00

Easter Sunday
Wesley UMC
Alexandria
Tony Forstall

My hope is built on nothing less
Than Jesus’ blood and righteousness.
I dare not trust the sweetest frame,
But wholly trust in Jesus’ Name.

Refrain
On Christ the solid Rock I stand,
All other ground is sinking sand;
All other ground is sinking sand.

When darkness seems to hide His face,
I rest on His unchanging grace.
In every high and stormy gale,
My anchor holds within the veil.

Refrain
On Christ the solid Rock I stand,
All other ground is sinking sand;
All other ground is sinking sand.

Words:Edward Mote, circa 1834; first appeared in Mote’s Hymns of Praise, 1836.

As we come with joyful and gladdened hearts to celebrate Easter we should take extra care to ensure we celebrate the right person, the right deed, and the right hope. To miss the mark in this matter is to turn us in to fools end take us down the road of mistake and despair. To get it right however is to approach unknown joy and peace. The events of Jesus life, especially the last moments, still remain in our minds and hearts, as they ever should. But they do so, differently on this day.

As we look back over the last week we can see that our whole world, at least symbolically has come unglued. What we thought to be certainties, have become faded memories and dreams. What we had hoped for has been shown to be vague wishes and “pie in the sky”. We are undone. We are confused. We are uncertain. We are, in short, a mess. A puddle of emotions, experiences, and hopes waiting to be formed in to a new shape. We have some friends and companions in this state of affairs. The disciples, both men and women, both Peter James and John, and the Mary, Jesus Mother, and Mary Magdala, and the other women have had their lives come apart as well.
The disciples had proclaimed Jesus”king” with the rest of crowd as He entered Jerusalem. They were right in a sense, and terribly wrong in another sense. He was a King, but not as they had hoped. We share that same state, often wanting divine leadership, but unwilling to acknowledge it, seek it, or heed it when it is offered.

The week didn't get any better as Jesus taught bold things and challenged what the disciples had thought unassailable and changed the meaning of Passover, which they had thought to be permanently instituted. That same night one disciple betrayed Jesus for silver and another denied him three times for fear, and the others simply made themselves scarce, at best looking on from a safe distance. The following day, things only got worse, as the powers and principalities of this world showed their true colors and condemned an innocent and put Him to death. “Better that one should die, than many”. This painful rehearsal of the last week is necessary because some where in its telling each of us is present. Each of us took part in some way and still to this day we take part. Hopefully in each of us is a deep awareness of our own stains, our own proclivities to sin, our own need for saving, and our inability to save ourselves. If not then you will not appreciate as you should what follows.

Your life is not summed up and defined by your sins and inadequacies, your ignorance and pride, or your selfishness and greed. The power and condemnation of those things are behind you on the cross of Jesus, they remain, only as a tender reminder of our need and dependence on the one who has taken them from us. Their power to deceive us and lead us to destruction while all along believing we were saving ourselves and building a glorious future is overcome. The power to insinuate that what we are guilty of demands a strict accounting that can render only one verdict, eternal death and agony, is gone. Hopefully, you feel their absence and are glad to be rid of them, and hopefully you are in no hurry to replace them so you can “feel better”. Do not be in a rush to put yourself back together again.

I say hopefully, because we are coming out of that tomb, following Jesus who has gone before us. Our old selves are dead, the old wine skins are empty and are to be cast aside, old enmities, old prejudices, old fears are powerless and we are moving to a new self and a new future in Jesus Christ. We do not come out a completed and perfect disciple of Christ. No, like the first disciples, we come out with deep awareness of the pain and presence of sin and confusion on where all this will lead. Despite the last 2000 years of people responding to what God had dome in Christ, we are no better equipped to come to terms with that wonderful and grace-filled act than they were.

The Resurrection IS the pivotal event of God's activity of love and redemption in Christ. Since advent we have read the story of Jesus coming, birth, ministry, death and resurrection. We have heard How God acted in Jesus for us. What follows Easter is how God, by the power and presence of the resurrected Jesus and the gift of the Holy Spirit acted in disciples to re-mold the quivering mass of uncertainty and relief in to a different shape. The righteousness of Jesus Christ is displayed as Peter is reformed and authorized to feed and love Jesus' sheep because he loves Jesus and Jesus loves him. The patient love of Jesus is displayed in his response to Thomas doubts. Jesus teaching of the two disciples on the road to Emmaus with his becoming known and recognized in him indicates Jesus subtle approach to shaping and remaking us.

The story after Easter is the story of people who have encountered Jesus and who are on an eternal and holy journey of being made holy and reshaped, reconstituted as the people of God. It is the story of each disciple and it is the story of the church. Which brings us to a very sad and usually unspoken fact.

For those of us who serve as pastors and for those many of you who serve Christ as laypeople we know that while Easter and Christmas have the highest attendance of all services through out the year, it is the Sunday after Easter that we record the lowest attendance of the year. A many thoughtful observers of our world note that there is a alarming lack of spiritual wisdom and maturity displayed in our world, our nation and even in churches. There is a chronic lack of good news, but we blame the media, rather than noting that if we were asked we probably couldn't tell of any good news ourselves for much longer than 15 minutes. The church lacks any serious voice in the public arena and in the lives of many. We have no money, we have no serious thing to say about our world, and we offer little hope and love upon which to build. Gone are the days when the church was a respected institution of moral leadership, tender care of the lost, the least and the last, and a center of community life. We are useful in maintaining a Christmas and Easter traditions and a last hope for the needy and a sanctuary for the marginalized of society, and a repository of dead and dying traditions.

How can this situation be reversed? It can't. You see Jesus is never about going back to the way it was. Jesus is always about the growth of love, justice, and peace. Jesus is about the future, not the past. If our old self is dead and being put to rest, so is the old world that made sense to us being put to rest. The death of what we once had so much pleasure and confidence in is painful and naturally we grieve its passing.

As we grieve this fact we may try to deny it. We may get angry that it is so and maybe even blame the person who claims it is so. We may try to bargain to keep it from happening. Well if I start attending church and participating maybe we can reverse the decline and resuscitate the dying vision. We might even give up hope and enter in to depression full of regrets and failure. Eventually, if we stick with it, we will learn to accept that the world is changing without consulting us and we move on and face the future the best way that we can.

Our world is experiencing a “hinge” moment when what was generally assumed before can no longer stand and must give away to some new and unknown reality. There have been others in the world's history. The adoption of Christianity as the official religion of the Roman Empire. The protestant reformation. The scientific revolution. The industrial revolution. I do not know what this current stage will be called, but it will be called something. But for us the most important “hinge' moment the world has ever experienced is the first Easter. And it still is the most important.

What all of this means to you can be summed up in several points:

1.Changes you thought impossible if they are according to God's will no longer are impossible.

2.But these changes are only possible because God wills them, empowers them and enacts them in the lives of human beings and the church.

3.That anything and anyone that opposes God's intentions has no right to exist and exist only because humans continue to cherish it more than God's love and power.

4. That you can participate in God's salvation activity by taking responsibility for yourself and your relationship with God, letting your old self die, stop expecting others to meet your standards and desires, seek to embody the mandate of Jesus given last Thursday to love one another as he loved us, and to put all you trust and hope in Jesus.

5.To refuse to scorn the church as Christ's body, and commit to participate in its life, and by love, prayer, presence and support make it better than is has been.

His oath, His covenant, His blood,
Support me in the whelming flood.
When all around my soul gives way,
He then is all my Hope and Stay.

Refrain
On Christ the solid Rock I stand,
All other ground is sinking sand;
All other ground is sinking sand.

When He shall come with trumpet sound,
Oh may I then in Him be found.
Dressed in His righteousness alone,
Faultless to stand before the throne.

Refrain
On Christ the solid Rock I stand,
All other ground is sinking sand;
All other ground is sinking sand.

Words:Edward Mote, circa 1834; first appeared in Mote’s Hymns of Praise, 1836.

A Spiritual Thaw-Maundy Thursday by Walton C. Forstall, (Tony)

2010-04-01T08:03:00.000-04:00

Spiritual Climate Change
John 13:1-17, 31b-35

Tony Forstall, pastor, Wesley UMC, Alexandria, Virginia
Maundy Thursday
April 1, 2010
Rising Hope UMC

Opening prayer

Spirit of the living God, fall afresh on me.
Spirit of the living God, fall afresh on me.
Melt me, mold me, fill me, use me,
Spirit of the living God, fall afresh on me.

Spirit of the living God, fall afresh on us.
Spirit of the living God, fall afresh on us.
Melt us, mold us, fill us, use us,
Spirit of the living God, fall afresh on us.

Amen

Author (st. 1): Daniel Iverson
Author (st. 2): Michael Baughen

The birth of Jesus, his life, teaching and ministry, and now this moment have been, in effect, a great thaw. A great melting of human prejudice, sin, and ignorance. But like our own climate warming, this spiritual thaw is not always apparent to the observer. Unlike climate change, a spiritual thaw would be a welcomed event. The events of this night, of tomorrow and of Sunday are God's way of thawing us out, of melting us, molding us, filling us, and using us to bring the heat of His love and grace to an ever encroaching spiritual wasteland. Careful attention to the exchange between Jesus and Peter help us understand the need for thawing and the desirability of a thawing taking place. Let us take a look.

Jesus, knowing that the Father had given all things into his hands, and that he had come from God and was going to God,
got up from the table,* took off his outer robe, and tied a towel around himself.
Then he poured water into a basin and began to wash the disciples’ feet and to wipe them with the towel that was tied around him.
He came to Simon Peter, who said to him, ‘Lord, are you going to wash my feet?’

We can only understand this question if we apply the right tone to it. This isn't a question to ascertain the facts. It is clear Jesus is going to wash feet. Rather it is a type of rhetorical question that expresses disbelief, indignation, and confusion. Peter has journeyed side by side with Jesus for 3 years. Peter knew who Jesus was. But Jesus always seemed to be able to surprise Peter and bring him to a new place. Jesus seemed to know how to get Peter's attention and begin to dismantle his assumptions, his selfish desires, and his narrow thinking. Jesus assures Peter (and us) that while this all might be confusing now, it will make sense later, when he answers, ‘You do not know now what I am doing, but later you will understand.’

Peter said to him, ‘You will never wash my feet.’

Peter is not assured and maintains his resistance and disbelief. If anything his heart hardens just a little, his ideas become slightly more entrenched, and his spirit more chilly. Peter draws a line and tries to bargain with Jesus. Peter acts as if he is so valuable and important to Jesus' enterprise that if he refuses, then Jesus must capitulate. If the Rock, upon which the church shall be built leaves what will happen? If the one who holds the keys to life is not present then what locks can be unlocked? To this Jesus in a sense replies. “Gee Peter I will miss you, but if thats the way you feel, then you can't be my friend.” Who is vital to what Jesus is doing? Not Peter, and folks, neither are we. We aren't calling the shots, Jesus is.

Simon Peter said to him, ‘Lord, not my feet only but also my hands and my head!’

Peter sees how it is. So seeing he has no power to change the course Jesus has chosen he decides to immerse himself in the experience. Well Lord, then do all of me. What can possibly be wrong with this request? Isn't it one of complete surrender? In one sense it is. But in another very important sense it is still a way of trying to control, alter, and direct what Jesus is doing. Peter wants to be washed all over, not just all over, but all over again. His journey with Jesus apparently hasn't been enough for Peter to become clean. He feels the need of another cleaning up. The problem with this is that Peter's request is all about him and his experience. He is looking for special treatment which the others neither requested or were going to get. Peter also assumes what Jesus did before in grace and power wasn't sufficient to do what Jesus wanted done. Its like saying to God, “Well you really fouled that up , do it again”. That would be funny except for the fact that people are still saying just that to God, if not overtly, then implicitly in the things they say or do.

Such a stance highlights the selfishness of Peter's protest. But before we vilify Peter for his selfishness, arrogance, and ignorance I would suggest to you that in this place and time, while Peter can own his own resistance, he stands in for all of us. He is the archetype disciple which was certainly present then and sadly today is still present, in each of us. Peter acted in ignorance, arrogance and selfishness. Jesus love is beginning to break down Peter's old self. By the end of tomorrow Peter will be completely undone. He will be a quivering mass of despair, guilt, and grief. He doesn't yet know then end of the story.

What is so sad about our similarity to Peter, is what makes us different from him. While not knowing the end Peter acted in ignorance, despite many insights offered by Jesus. We do know the end of the story. And knowing the end of the story we rush to get there without really being ready to receive the gift Jesus is giving. We think we can have the new life Jesus gives with out really having to change, to give up our ignorance, our arrogance, and our selfishness. Peter's old self is dying here. It will gasp its last breath after the cock crows a third time.

When will your old self die? Will it happen tonight? Where are you telling Jesus, not me, not this way, it isn't fitting? Where are you saying to Jesus I can read the Bible but I can't understand it? Where are you saying to Jesus, if you really loved me you would fix this or do that. Where are you responding to Jesus call to follow him with a “Not now”, or “I can't” or “I am afraid”. Friends, if not now, when? If you can't, Jesus can. If you are afraid, join the crowd, we all are afraid. But friends, lets fear the right thing. Which are you more afraid of? Following Jesus because he asks you to trust him, to change and to receive eternal life? Or following the one who can kill the soul? There is no neutrality. You are in as neutral a place as is possible. You have a choice. Will it be Jesus or will it be eternal torment and agony? This is what is at stake. This is what has always been at stake. And if it is plainly laid out in such a crass manner, it is only because we seem unable to move forward to Jesus' future and his invitation to us, without remembering that not to follow him is to choose death, and that eternally.

So come. Allow Jesus to thaw you out, even turn you in to a puddle of grief, sorrow, sadness, and guilt. But we who have been mis-shaped can, if melted down and reworked, become shaped by the cross. What will it be? A cross shaped life or no life at all?

Thus might I hide my blushing face
While His dear cross appears,
Dissolve my heart in thankfulness,
And melt my eyes to tears.

But drops of grief can ne’er repay
The debt of love I owe:
Here, Lord, I give my self away
’Tis all that I can do.

Verses 5 and 6, “Alas And Did My Savior Bleed”, Issac Watts

Wednesday Breakfast

2010-03-31T20:13:00.000-04:00

Each Wednesday clergy on the Route One Corridor meet for breakfast. We arrive around 8:00 am. The regulars are 8 Episcoplaians, one Lutheran, 3 Presbyterians, 2 Methodists and one Baptist. This group was started by Bob Criswell, former pastor of Mount Vernon Presbyterian.

We meet at Elsie's Magic Skillet.

This group has become a great support for me. As I anticipate moving I find these folks are more precious to me than I realized. I will miss this and these people.

Hmmmmm. What was I thinking?

2010-02-26T16:44:00.000-05:00

As of March 19 I have removed all previous posts to rethink how I want to use this forum. Please keep following. I will begin posting again in the very near future.